How strange it was to be back in the United States for just one weekend, and in Wilmington Delaware at that, but it was certainly a great weekend. I got in Thursday afternoon and met Mom and Dad at the airport. One of the best parts about that, besides seeing them for the first time in three months, was that Mom brought four corned beef sandwiches with her. I ate two on the car ride to the hotel. The DuPont hotel is beautiful. When I got to my room I was in shock at how luxurious it was. Two major beds with a big TV, and a bathroom with a shower and separate bathtub.
My parents and I then went to the Men’s Warehouse and picked up my tux. After that we went out to dinner with Uncle Irv and cousin David from California, the only other people in town at that point. Dinner was very nice and Gabi met us there. Uncle Irv didn’t want all of his pasta so he requested that it be packaged up. He then told us that he was going to give it to the girls at the concierge desk. We thought that was hilarious.
When we got to the hotel Uncle Irv walked right up to the desk and handed them the pasta. When he got into the elevator he looked at us and said, “You want to know something? Those girls were so happy when I gave them that pasta.” It was hilarious. He is a great man.
The next day I took the rental car and drove to Philadelphia to hang out with Gabi for half the day. I saw his apartment and he read me his d’var torah for the tisch. After he packed up we made our way to the hotel.
That night Grandma hosted Shabbat dinner for all the guests who were there. There were around 100 people there and it was a really nice event. I sat at the cousin table and caught up with many of the family members and friends who were there.
The next day I went out to brunch with my brother and some of the family at a really great local diner. On the wall was a hilarious framed newspaper article about the restaurant with the title: “Restaurant Wins Fight Over Condemnation.”
Later that day my sister, Yoni, and my cousin Jordyn went to go buy shtick for the wedding. We found glow sticks, big sun glasses, lays, and a lot of other random toys.
That night the whole wedding guest list went to a rented out tent next to a bar about five minutes away from the hotel. It was a lot of fun to see everyone who came in for the wedding. After that my parents opened up their room for the after party and I got the chance to meet a lot of my brother’s Penn friends.
The next day was the big day. After getting dressed we took pictures and after pictures started the tisch. It was great. My uncle Jonathan led the tisch and Jacob Cytryn signed the ketubah. After that everyone sang and danced with Gabi toward Brie for the bedeken part of the ceremony. After the bedeken everyone found their seats and the ceremony started. The walking down the aisle got pretty emotional, especially when Bubby walked down, who worked out for the last month just so she’s be able to make the walk. I walked down with Sammie and took my place on the left side of the chupah. The service took about 50 minutes and was led by my uncle, Rabbi Kurtz, and the Mamberg’s rabbi. All three did great jobs. After that was the cocktail hour, followed by the wedding reception. The food was great and four toasts were made. The first was from Brie’s father, the second from my parents, the third from Brie’s sister Anika (maid of honor), and the last by yours truly. This is what I said:
“First, I’d like to thank you two for giving me the honor of speaking today. I hope I do it justice.
One of my earliest memories with Gabi was when I was around 5 years old. He had thought it’d be a good idea to get our Mom some flowers. In retrospect it was probably because he had done something wrong and wanted to make up for it. At the time we were young and destitute, so Gabi told me to get on my Micky Mouse tricycle and follow him. He walked and I toted behind, past the neighbor’s house and down the street. We stopped at a patch of daisies and Gabi told me to start ripping them from the ground, for Mom. So we did, flower after flower, the clods of dirt flinging upwards like terrestrial rain [see what I did there?]. It took about 15 seconds before an old woman came screaming out of her house for us to stop destroying her flowers. Gabi took off running and yelled back over his shoulder, “Brett, run!” But that tricycle was no speed demon, and in no time the old lady was holding onto my handlebar, threatening to call the police, while I whimperingly explained that my brother told me to do it, and that I meant no harm.
Childhood is riddled with stories of the “Gabi genre.” As the younger brother I’ve had the delight and privilege of watching these moments of this man’s glorious youth. These moments included his kleptomaniac phase where he literally stole everything from caution tape to Exit signs to the strawberries at the dessert table. And then let us not forget his skater phase with the baggy Kangaroo jeans and back-pocket chain links. I think the hallmark of this era was when Gabi tried making his own wax for his grinding skater shoes, but thinking that Tupperware could hold scalding purple wax (the wise engineer he was), wound up accidentally pouring it all over the kitchen drawers, telling me not to say anything to Mom, who was out at the time. Wow, was she pissed.
Yet there came a time when Gabi wanted to take things more seriously, from my perception it was around his freshman year of high school when he dropped the “I” from his name and replaced it with an “E”. Gabe funneled much of his energy into becoming intelligent, motivated, and incredibly well read. In fact, he was known to ditch activities at Camp Ramah in order to stay in the cabin and read books—from the history of the circle to the wisdom of the Greek philosophers.
Now you will all have to indulge me for a moment. Among their many contributions, the ancient Greeks had a beautiful understanding of time. They outlined it with two words: Kronos, and Kairos. Kronos is linear time, the derivative of chronology. Kairos is the more abstract, when things happen unknowingly. A good example of kairos is: every boy becomes a man eventually, but you never know exactly when that is. At a certain point in his life Gabi turned into Gabe and with that transformation wowed everyone with his intelligence, foresight, and desire for accomplishment. At a young age he taught me to love being American, and that no topic was too big for my understanding. When you are with Gabe, you choose your words more carefully, you straighten your back a little bit more, your comments are slightly more thought out. Though I still and always will call Gabe, “Gabi” he has come a very long way from the boy I once pulled the flowers with. Him and I go for long stretches of time without seeing each other, but despite that Gabi has always been one of the people in my life I never get tired of being around. And I think it’s because I don’t know anyone else in the world quite like him.
Many of us have had the privilege of watching him grow up, and as his brother I can say for certain that this man will one day change the world in a profound way. But the thing about that is, if you’re going to change the world, as he undoubtedly will, you just can’t do it alone. Brie has made Gabi happier than he has ever been. Sitting down at Rosh Hashana lunch this year, Gabi and Brie were on my right, and to my left my dad turns to me and says: “Look at them. It’s like two peas in a pod these two.” And it’s true. Brie has had the most profound effect on Gabi over the course of their relationship and will continue to as the years go on from here.
Two years ago, as Sammie, Gabi and I were driving home at night, we stopped in a parking lot and Gabi said he’d be back in a second as he got out of the car. He then went around to the back of our Jeep and opened up the trunk. All of the sudden, a dirty stop sign that had been lying on the side of the road came vaulting over the back seat and up to the front. Gabi closed the trunk and got back in the front seat and held onto the bottom of the sign and looked at Sammie and me. He said, “I need to do these kinds of things sometimes to keep myself in check.” I drove home and Gabi maintained this self-accomplished, little boy smirk on his face the entire ride, periodically giggling to himself, his hand held tightly around that Stop sign that to this day sits in our Highland Park garage. This is Gabe the man: a person who sees and conquers, who never cringes before power, who makes those around him better, and who never forgets that a little tomfoolery goes a long way. Never stop being the ridiculous, hilarious boy you always were, Gabi. I love the both of you. Mazal Tov.”
The rest of the party was really great with a lot of fun dancing. It seemed like everyone had a great time. I spent that night hanging out with my brother’s friends in Evan Driefuss and AJ Rosenberg’s hotel room. This included an ice fight and other shenanigans.
The next day there was brunch for everyone still in town. We said goodbye to the guests. Another funny moment with Uncle Irv: as we were sitting in the lobby he was getting up from the chair, and in an old Jewish man way started saying, “Oy, what a kvetch,” but then stopped and looked at me and asked, “What’s that disease where you can’t stop swearing?” I said that was called turrets. “Right. Turrets. Shit, cock, sonofabitch.” As you can see, Irv is awesome.
After that I had a flight to catch at 9:00 PM so I spent the day with Gabi and Brie, eavesdropping on their first day as a married couple. It was great to be with the both of them. Around 7:15 they drove me to the airport and I said goodbye. I told my brother it was an honor being his best man and wished them a great honeymoon in Bermuda. With that, I headed for my plane back to Ireland.
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