Gabi and Brie's Wedding Weekend

How strange it was to be back in the United States for just one weekend, and in Wilmington Delaware at that, but it was certainly a great weekend. I got in Thursday afternoon and met Mom and Dad at the airport. One of the best parts about that, besides seeing them for the first time in three months, was that Mom brought four corned beef sandwiches with her. I ate two on the car ride to the hotel. The DuPont hotel is beautiful. When I got to my room I was in shock at how luxurious it was. Two major beds with a big TV, and a bathroom with a shower and separate bathtub.

My parents and I then went to the Men’s Warehouse and picked up my tux. After that we went out to dinner with Uncle Irv and cousin David from California, the only other people in town at that point. Dinner was very nice and Gabi met us there. Uncle Irv didn’t want all of his pasta so he requested that it be packaged up. He then told us that he was going to give it to the girls at the concierge desk. We thought that was hilarious.

When we got to the hotel Uncle Irv walked right up to the desk and handed them the pasta. When he got into the elevator he looked at us and said, “You want to know something? Those girls were so happy when I gave them that pasta.” It was hilarious. He is a great man.

The next day I took the rental car and drove to Philadelphia to hang out with Gabi for half the day. I saw his apartment and he read me his d’var torah for the tisch. After he packed up we made our way to the hotel.

That night Grandma hosted Shabbat dinner for all the guests who were there. There were around 100 people there and it was a really nice event. I sat at the cousin table and caught up with many of the family members and friends who were there.

The next day I went out to brunch with my brother and some of the family at a really great local diner. On the wall was a hilarious framed newspaper article about the restaurant with the title: “Restaurant Wins Fight Over Condemnation.”

Later that day my sister, Yoni, and my cousin Jordyn went to go buy shtick for the wedding. We found glow sticks, big sun glasses, lays, and a lot of other random toys.

That night the whole wedding guest list went to a rented out tent next to a bar about five minutes away from the hotel. It was a lot of fun to see everyone who came in for the wedding. After that my parents opened up their room for the after party and I got the chance to meet a lot of my brother’s Penn friends.

The next day was the big day. After getting dressed we took pictures and after pictures started the tisch. It was great. My uncle Jonathan led the tisch and Jacob Cytryn signed the ketubah. After that everyone sang and danced with Gabi toward Brie for the bedeken part of the ceremony. After the bedeken everyone found their seats and the ceremony started. The walking down the aisle got pretty emotional, especially when Bubby walked down, who worked out for the last month just so she’s be able to make the walk. I walked down with Sammie and took my place on the left side of the chupah. The service took about 50 minutes and was led by my uncle, Rabbi Kurtz, and the Mamberg’s rabbi. All three did great jobs. After that was the cocktail hour, followed by the wedding reception. The food was great and four toasts were made. The first was from Brie’s father, the second from my parents, the third from Brie’s sister Anika (maid of honor), and the last by yours truly. This is what I said:

“First, I’d like to thank you two for giving me the honor of speaking today. I hope I do it justice.

One of my earliest memories with Gabi was when I was around 5 years old. He had thought it’d be a good idea to get our Mom some flowers. In retrospect it was probably because he had done something wrong and wanted to make up for it. At the time we were young and destitute, so Gabi told me to get on my Micky Mouse tricycle and follow him. He walked and I toted behind, past the neighbor’s house and down the street. We stopped at a patch of daisies and Gabi told me to start ripping them from the ground, for Mom. So we did, flower after flower, the clods of dirt flinging upwards like terrestrial rain [see what I did there?]. It took about 15 seconds before an old woman came screaming out of her house for us to stop destroying her flowers. Gabi took off running and yelled back over his shoulder, “Brett, run!” But that tricycle was no speed demon, and in no time the old lady was holding onto my handlebar, threatening to call the police, while I whimperingly explained that my brother told me to do it, and that I meant no harm.

Childhood is riddled with stories of the “Gabi genre.” As the younger brother I’ve had the delight and privilege of watching these moments of this man’s glorious youth. These moments included his kleptomaniac phase where he literally stole everything from caution tape to Exit signs to the strawberries at the dessert table. And then let us not forget his skater phase with the baggy Kangaroo jeans and back-pocket chain links. I think the hallmark of this era was when Gabi tried making his own wax for his grinding skater shoes, but thinking that Tupperware could hold scalding purple wax (the wise engineer he was), wound up accidentally pouring it all over the kitchen drawers, telling me not to say anything to Mom, who was out at the time. Wow, was she pissed.

Yet there came a time when Gabi wanted to take things more seriously, from my perception it was around his freshman year of high school when he dropped the “I” from his name and replaced it with an “E”. Gabe funneled much of his energy into becoming intelligent, motivated, and incredibly well read. In fact, he was known to ditch activities at Camp Ramah in order to stay in the cabin and read books—from the history of the circle to the wisdom of the Greek philosophers.

Now you will all have to indulge me for a moment. Among their many contributions, the ancient Greeks had a beautiful understanding of time. They outlined it with two words: Kronos, and Kairos. Kronos is linear time, the derivative of chronology. Kairos is the more abstract, when things happen unknowingly. A good example of kairos is: every boy becomes a man eventually, but you never know exactly when that is. At a certain point in his life Gabi turned into Gabe and with that transformation wowed everyone with his intelligence, foresight, and desire for accomplishment. At a young age he taught me to love being American, and that no topic was too big for my understanding. When you are with Gabe, you choose your words more carefully, you straighten your back a little bit more, your comments are slightly more thought out. Though I still and always will call Gabe, “Gabi” he has come a very long way from the boy I once pulled the flowers with. Him and I go for long stretches of time without seeing each other, but despite that Gabi has always been one of the people in my life I never get tired of being around. And I think it’s because I don’t know anyone else in the world quite like him.

Many of us have had the privilege of watching him grow up, and as his brother I can say for certain that this man will one day change the world in a profound way. But the thing about that is, if you’re going to change the world, as he undoubtedly will, you just can’t do it alone. Brie has made Gabi happier than he has ever been. Sitting down at Rosh Hashana lunch this year, Gabi and Brie were on my right, and to my left my dad turns to me and says: “Look at them. It’s like two peas in a pod these two.” And it’s true. Brie has had the most profound effect on Gabi over the course of their relationship and will continue to as the years go on from here.

Two years ago, as Sammie, Gabi and I were driving home at night, we stopped in a parking lot and Gabi said he’d be back in a second as he got out of the car. He then went around to the back of our Jeep and opened up the trunk. All of the sudden, a dirty stop sign that had been lying on the side of the road came vaulting over the back seat and up to the front. Gabi closed the trunk and got back in the front seat and held onto the bottom of the sign and looked at Sammie and me. He said, “I need to do these kinds of things sometimes to keep myself in check.” I drove home and Gabi maintained this self-accomplished, little boy smirk on his face the entire ride, periodically giggling to himself, his hand held tightly around that Stop sign that to this day sits in our Highland Park garage. This is Gabe the man: a person who sees and conquers, who never cringes before power, who makes those around him better, and who never forgets that a little tomfoolery goes a long way. Never stop being the ridiculous, hilarious boy you always were, Gabi. I love the both of you. Mazal Tov.”

The rest of the party was really great with a lot of fun dancing. It seemed like everyone had a great time. I spent that night hanging out with my brother’s friends in Evan Driefuss and AJ Rosenberg’s hotel room. This included an ice fight and other shenanigans.

The next day there was brunch for everyone still in town. We said goodbye to the guests. Another funny moment with Uncle Irv: as we were sitting in the lobby he was getting up from the chair, and in an old Jewish man way started saying, “Oy, what a kvetch,” but then stopped and looked at me and asked, “What’s that disease where you can’t stop swearing?” I said that was called turrets. “Right. Turrets. Shit, cock, sonofabitch.” As you can see, Irv is awesome.

After that I had a flight to catch at 9:00 PM so I spent the day with Gabi and Brie, eavesdropping on their first day as a married couple. It was great to be with the both of them. Around 7:15 they drove me to the airport and I said goodbye. I told my brother it was an honor being his best man and wished them a great honeymoon in Bermuda. With that, I headed for my plane back to Ireland.

IES Trip to Kerry

As in the natural spirit of all adventures, whenever I go to a new place I learn something new about myself. After the Spain/London trip the IES program took us all to see County Kerry. What I learned about myself in this place is that with the loss of some significant weight I am now enabled to do more physical things. Kerry became a natural jungle gym, and it seemed as though everyone had an amazing time. Kerry is also known as probably the most beautiful place in Ireland, and having been there I agree. The whole country is gorgeous (maybe not Cork city) but Kerry is on another level.

Brad and I woke up at the ass crack of down, 5:30, and got our stuff together and took a taxi to Heuston station where we met with the rest of the program. I slept for most of the first train ride, then for most of the second train ride, and then we were in Kerry.

The first thing we did was take a short bus ride to a group of horse carriages. We got off the bus and formed groups of four for the horses. I was with Peter, Sam and Patrick, and a very nice Irishman named Dan took us to his horse named Billy.

As soon as we get in the carriage the horse took a massive dump and Dan said, "Oh, that means he doesn't like ye." But Billy turned out to be quite the speed demon, and even though this was the horse's first ride since the winter, he ran right past all the other horses without being whipped. I was impressed.

The ride was obviously hilarious, and when we approached major hills we had to get out and walk them because it put too much strain on the horse. The countryside was really beautiful and took on a very primeval look.

As we rode, Dan sang little charming Irish ditties to himself which definitely added to the ride. This part of the country is so isolated that in certain parts that we passed Dan told us they didn't have electricity until 1979 and the first phone line was installed in 1988.

We were the first carriage to arrive at the destination, said our goodbyes to Billy, and got lunch. I had an egg salad sandwich. The last carriage arrived about an hour later, because their horse was lethargic and about to die en route, so they told the driver they'd walk the last mile and a half. After lunch we took a boat ride across an 8 mile long lake, and I sat next to the boatman who lived in the area and said that his job was to drive people across the lake once a day every day and that was it. He said life was good and he looked to be very content.

We arrived at the other end of the lake and walked around for a bit, climbed up a sweet tree, and then went to a waterfall. This was jungle gym number one. We were climbing all over this thing though it was pretty dangerous, and I decided to not care that I was dirtying my one good pair of pants on the trip. Luckily there were nice Filipino tourists who were good at fording waterfalls and lent a hand. It was at this waterfall that I made the observation that no matter how far you climb inside or upwards, you always want to climb higher and are never quite satisfied. I realized this everywhere we went afterwards.

The Waterfall

After this we walked to a very large field with an open mansion in front of it and hung out. This was a lot of fun. We were pretty slap happy and tired so we played such classical games as piggy-back races, tag and ninja. Brad was especially goofy at that point because he was so tired, but it was entertaining.

After that we went to our hotel in Dingle.

The hotel was very nice but they didn't turn the heat on so it was pretty cold. I needed some shampoo and some cider so I walked into the small yet charming town and went to the Supervalu. I bought a six pack of Bulmer's and came back to the hotel. After that it was pretty late and everyone else had gone to dinner, so Brad, Patrick, Peter and I went down the street to Murphy's Bar and got dinner. I ordered the only non-meat dish, which was the "potato platter," which included a dissatisfying amount of potatoes and then a small side of peas, and then of course a Guinness. We ended up staying at Murphy's Bar all night with a lot of people from the program. At one point Browyn ordered everyone drinks because a guy in a cowboy hat on the street handed her 50 euros and told her to have a good night. She didn't ask questions and we were all happy with that. Later that night we made our way back to the hotel.

We woke up early the next day and had breakfast at the hotel. Our first stop that day was to the ancient beehives, which are 5000 year old stone structures that look like beehives and are not held together by anything but the gravity of rock upon rock. I was amazed and somewhat skeptical as to how those structure were able to last for all those millennia without some pre or post Jesus punk knocking it down as a practical joke, like cow tipping. But maybe they've always been well protected.

We got back on the bus and stopped at many different places to appreciate the awesomeness of the coastline. In one place we stopped at a beach for about an hour that was situated below a cliff about 80 feet high.

The beach was right on the ocean and we took off our shoes and ran around in the cold sand. Here was jungle gym number two. I, along with a few others, climbed up a natural rock wall all the way to the top. Again, the higher you get the higher you want to climb, though it was pretty dangerous. Ireland is very much a country that you take on "at your own risk." If you fall down a jagged rock wall barefoot and break your head open, it's your fault. I'm sure it's happened before.

After the beach we went to the Blasket Island Heritage Center, which is a museum glorifying a small community of about 50 people who once lived on an isolated island for generations. Some of Ireland's most well known literature comes from this community, including the Islandman by Tomas O' Criomhthain and Peig by Peig Sayers. In the museum they had quotes from different people on the island. This quote from Peig's book stuck with me, because it held a gravity and creativeness I don't often find, and I still think about it a lot. I'm definitely going to read her book.

After the center we went to lunch at a pottery place. Before lunch we got to use the clay wheel and make little bowls. My bowl is now a change holder in my room back in Dublin. Lunch was delicious.

Then came one of my favorite parts of the trip. We stopped at this coastline mountain called Kiosharaha (that spelling is incredibly wrong, I can't find it on google). I raced a few people up the hill and then we explored. I went down the peak toward the cliff edge, which was pretty dangerous, but this was the most spectacular view I'd seen of Ireland the whole semester. We sat at the edge while one of the girls on the program played ukulele and sang. The whole thing was glorious.

That night we went to dinner with the entire program at a great place and then went back to the hotel and played a hilarious drinking game called "Cheers, Governor." After that we went out to a pub called Paul Geaney's with live music and stayed there the whole night with about half the program. I had my first Irish Car Bomb (Don't ask for this, it's insulting to Irish people), which was a Bailey's shot dropped into a Guinness, in a race against Peter. He beat me and it was sad. The night ended when my friend chucked her empty pint glass across the street and it shattered everywhere.

The next day we had free, so many people went to see the lighthouse. We took some pictures with cows and then went over to see the lighthouse. Here was jungle gym number four. I along with a girl on the program wound up climbing really far on the edge of the mainland and found a cave. At many points we were hanging literally over the deep cold water and it was awesome. I really learned to appreciate climbing on this trip. We met up with some people after at a place called The Diner and then boarded the bus to get back to Kerry. Overall, very awesome trip. Thanks IES for the memories.

London

After boarding the plane I quickly realized that (as a consequence of never being prepared/responsible for my well-being) did not write down the address for where I was supposed to stay in London or the phone numbers of the contacts I was meeting there. We got off the plane and I followed Devon and Evan on the subway. Devon had to take a different train at a certain point, so she left and I went with Evan to his hostel. Pretending to be a guest at the hostel, I used the 20 free minutes credit slip for their internet and found the address along with the phone number to call. I said goodbye to Evan for the first time in 10 days and went out to find a cab. After waiting on the street for about 20 minutes a friendly enough looking old man stopped and I gave him the address. It took him about 20 minutes to drive to the location, and it was pretty expensive, considering how much more the Pound is worth than the Euro.

When I got to the apartment I discovered that the doorbell was broken and no one was picking up their phones. I wound up standing outside for about another 20 minutes, yelling up to the windows “Jacob Goldstein,” who was in there, hoping someone would answer. I got a little desperate and decided to do something douchey and rang another person’s doorbell. By this time it was 1:30 AM and a man opened the door. He asked me where I was staying, then in a calm, reserved, though clearly agitated way expressed that I had woken up his three and five year olds and that it was completely inappropriate to ring doorbells at that time of the day. Then he asked me where I was staying and then asked me for my name. I asked why he needed to know it and he said that he was going to report this to the university. I wouldn’t give him my name because I wasn’t in the mood to be told on, and being tired and stressed, walked right passed him and up the stairs while calling back “good night” over my shoulder and that I was sorry for disturbing him. I did feel bad, but when you're standing outside after traveling all day and have to go to the bathroom you sometimes need to do things like ring doorbells at ungodly hours. I saw a few Wash U students on the way up the stairs and then Jacob who greeted me. I went to sleep shortly after.

The next day I went with Jacob and Andie (the girl we were staying with) to the British Museum. I’d been anticipating visiting this place for a long time since I learned about the Elgin Marbles. The museum itself is very beautifully made. The artifacts inside are a compilation of all the things the British stole over the centuries from the countries they dominated. I walked into one room and immediately see the Rosetta Stone surrounded by a throng of people. They have quite the impressive collection of Egyptian artifacts and mummies. But the best part for me of course was seeing the Elgin Marbles.

Statue thought to be Aphrodite

I learned in an Art History class last year about the dispute between Greece and Britain concerning the marbles. Now that Athens has the glorious Acropolis Museum, they want their marble back, but Britain refuses to give it back, and they sum up their reason on a kid-friendly plaque outside the Parthenon room:

Really..?

As a side note, it's interesting to be writing this post as I sit in a hostel in Athens having just seen the Parthenon and the outside of the Acropolis Museum. Britain should give those marbles back. They belong here. We walked around for a little longer and saw some other pretty amazing things, then left feeling satisfied. Andie left and Jacob and I got lunch at a pizza place. Then, not quite knowing how to see London in a day and a half took the sightseeing bus tour around the city. It was a good tour with a solid tour guide. We got off the bus in front of Buckingham Palace and tried getting into the Queen's art gallery exhibit. But as we stood in line an old man who worked for the gallery walked right up to us and told us that it wasn't worth the money because it's just pictures for the time being, not paintings. We thought it was pretty funny that one of the docents would tell customers that the exhibit wasn't worth it, and it reminded me of that scene in Phantom of the Megaplex with Movie Mason (start clip at 1:00).

We continued to go around the city and ended up at the National Gallery. This museum was great and I got to see many more pieces of art. Then we embarked on the greatest part of the trip. I hadn't eaten meat for about two and a half months at this point, so we researched a kosher restaurant in Golder's Green and took a subway for about a half hour and got there. To our happy surprise, Golder's Green happened to be a street that was all kosher restaurants. I was jovial. We bought a big hamburger for an appetizer, then went two restaurants down and I got matzah ball soup and a schnitzel sandwich. After that we went to a market and bought some cold cuts, and since Purim was around the corner I bought a lot of hamentaschen. It was fantastic and was really the icing on the cake for this Spain/London adventure. We were pretty tired by that point and to my recollection went back to Andie's for the night.

The next day we took the subway and Jacob bought a theater ticket to see Ghost. It was hilarious listening to him order the ticket, because his love for theater comes through like an excited little boy at a toy store. After that we got a tour of the Globe Theater, Westminster Abbey and Parliament. Can two people be more touristy? My flight back to Dublin was fast approaching and after Parliament we went back to the apartment to get my stuff. I said goodbye to Jacob and went back to the airport and flew home with Devon. Thus I have finally finished chronicling Spain and London more than a month after the fact. Hopefully my memory served me well.

Spain Part IV: Madrid

We got to Madrid around 5:30 PM, checked into our hostel and found some dinner. I called my friend Jessie who was now on the bus to Salamanca and told her the bus station story. Though she was angry I didn’t get to see her, the story was so ridiculous that everything ended on a fine note. Our flight the next day was leaving at 3:00 PM, so with less than a day to spare I realized that some intense Madrid toe-tapping action would have to take place. That night we went to a convenient store and bought bottles of wine for under a euro and then went to meet up with Ryan’s friends who were studying abroad there. We got to their apartment and met some other people who were there also. As strange coincidences go, two of the people in the apartment happened to be studying abroad in London and were close friends with the girls who stayed in our hostel room in Cork.

With our wine we played a big game of Kings for over an hour and then everyone was planning on going to the big club El Capital. Because I had no time in Madrid and wanted to see as much as possible I left them at the club and went back to the hostel with the plan of waking up at 9:00 AM. In the spirit of religious processionals carrying over from Seville, as I walked back to the hostel I saw the longest line of people I’ve ever seen waiting to get into a church. The story behind this is that once a year this church lowers a statue of Jesus from the ceiling and if you touch the statue’s foot and make a wish it will come true. People stand in line up to three weeks prior to this event so that they can get their wish. When I saw them, it was three in the morning and people ages 8 to 80 were waiting in line. That takes some good faith.

I adhered to my plan and woke up at 9 the next morning. As my alarm rang, people were sill getting back from the night. I walked around for a bit until Evan woke up and then we went to the Reina Sofia. I wanted to go here to see Picasso’s Guernica, and we walked around the museum searching for it. I didn’t realize how large it was, but it spanned such a distance that an entire large room was devoted to it. It is quite an amazing painting. The museum included many other famous works of art and has a pretty great collection of Dali’s.

After this we stood in line at the Prado museum. This was my favorite. There are so many awesome pieces of art here that it is overwhelming. Among the many, I got to see Velazquez’s Las Meninas, Titian’s Bacchanal, and then my favorite, Bosch’s The Garden of Earthly Delights. It was hard to believe that all these paintings were in the same museum, but it was quite awesome.

After the museum we met with my friend Jessie Lurie for a little bit and went to the major park next to the Prado.

She showed us around and soon enough we had to get our stuff and get to the airport. As I said, Madrid was short lived but I’m glad I got to see some of the highlights. We got on the plane and took off toward London.

Spain Part III: Granada

Remember, I'm writing this a month after the fact so this will be a shorter post than it would have been, and the details might be shaky, but we have some hilarious stories.

In Travels with Charley by John Steinbeck, when he arrives in Montana he says that he is utterly in love with it, and that there's not much else to say. I thought about John when we came into Granada, because I felt the exact same way. What a fantastic place! I never wanted to leave, and I'd like to go back. I'm not sure what it was. I met a girl in my hostel in Seville who said she liked Seville, but that there was something special about Granada, and she was right. I see the city as divided in two--half modern, half old. The older section, called Albeyzin, is built on a hill, and the modern part is in the valley. Our hostel was at the top of Albeyzin in Plaza de St. Nicholas. The hostel, to our surprise, was operated by a man named Blake who is originally from Madison, WI. Blake comes off as very chill and smokes his fair share. This wasn't really a hostel, but more just Blake's house that he deems a hostel to make some money. He informed us that he wasn't going to waste money paying for heat, and compensated with sleeping bags in the bedrooms. When Devon couldn't figure out how to use the shower, Blake went off to Evan and me on how he hates women who can't figure anything out for themselves, and just the general "obtuseness" of them in general. He seemed pretty upset about it, and we told Devon what he said. She was planning on writing him a "nice" review on Hostelworld.

The whole group reconvened (Kassey and Ryan stayed longer in Barcelona) and we explored. Blake gave us some suggestions on places to go, which included a neighborhood painted over by a graffiti artist, the Alhambra, and a really cool hillside above Albayzin populated by people who live in caves without electricity or running water. We wound up going to all those places.

The graffiti neighborhood was pretty cool, and after walking around the city for about 3 hours, Evan and I decided to go see the Alhambra.

This building is quite magnificent, partly because it's been influenced imposingly by Muslim and Christian cultures when they ruled during separate times. There was also an M.C. Escher exhibit there, and I was able to see the originals of some of his most famous works, including the hands drawing each other. You can spend all day touring the compound, but we only went to the main parts, which were really incredible, as were the views of Granada surrounding the palace.

On the way home I saw this piece of graffiti, and I found it so striking that I remember it even a month later as I write this post:

Some food for thought

That night we met with one of Evan's high school friends who was very nice and showed us a great time. We wound up going to the same tapas bar every night in Granada called Poe. Poe was established 9 years ago by an Englishman named Matt who was a former teacher in need of a scene change. He says that owning the tapas bar has been his most enjoyable occupation. I was amazed by his prices. For 1.80 euro you can get a full mug of beer along with a tapas of your choice. The tapas selections were all incredible, especially the salt cod, of which I could not get enough. The nights we were there were very fun. The most memorable place was a club that served free drinks until midnight, then opened up into a big dance party. Before many people were there, we watched one of the girls there dancing with a guy who looked like a cross between Andy Sandberg and Napoleon Dynamite. Her dance moves kept increasing more intensely until the entire club stopped dancing and instead stood and stared at these two people outdoing everyone else. I had never seen an entire club stop for one couple, but there it was.

The next day we walked around the modern part of the the city and saw the church Isabella and Ferdinand commissioned for their burial. These anti-Semites built quite the church for themselves.

That night Evan and I walked to the top of the village of cave people Blake told us to see. These people did live in caves, but civilized caves with doors and furniture. We had to walk up a lot of stairs, but it was well worth it. The view from the top was exquisite, and while there we watched the sun set. Romantic, myes.

This preceded what turned out to be one of the most absurd nights of my life. Everyone else went on to Madrid, but Evan and I stayed an extra day in Granada. We went back to Poe to see Matt and to say goodbye to the salt cod one last time. Then we made our way to the bus station. We were told that we would be able to get a ticket easily since the bus wouldn't be crowded, but the advice was very wrong. The 12:30 bus was sold out, as was the 1:30 and the 4:00. The next bus leaving was at 11:00 and I was shocked and in disbelief. Mind you that this bus station was also in a sketchy area of town and far from the city center and we didn't want to spend the money going back.

When we found out that our bus was at 11:00, I had two thoughts: 1) I was letting down my friend Jessie Fleeman who was in Madrid and pushed her bus back to Salamanca so she could see me, and 2) I realized that I had to sleep in a fucking bus station. At these two thoughts I walked away from Evan in a fury and went to the bathroom to get ready for bed...and by bed I mean floor. In the bathroom, as I was taking out my contacts, Evan walked in.

Evan: Listen, at least I remembered to print out all of my boarding passes before Spain.

(Before Spain I neglected to print out my boarding passes, and a theme running through this trip was where could I find a printer to get my next pass)

Me: Why are you saying that now? That's unncessary.

Evan: Because, Dude, you're all mad at me now. It's not my fault.

Me: I'm not mad out you, I'm mad at the situation.

Having taken out my contacts I then left the bathroom and sat down in one of the seats next to a homeless man. After a minute Evan walked over.

Evan: Is this seat taken?

Me: No. Listen, I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the situation. You need to let me be angry for at least 5 minutes. This situation sucks.

Evan: It could be worse. I mean, sometimes a bird takes a dump on your head, but it could be an elephant...

Me: What?! Dude, just let me scream into the canyon, okay?

Evan: You can scream into the canyon, but not if you're mad at the friend.

I really wasn't angry with him, which clearly wasn't getting across, and as you can see this conversation was useless and absurd. We took this picture immediately after so we could remember the moment. We weren't posing for this, we were just legitimately upset.

Thus began our night in the bus station. It cleared out soon and we found a space on the ground and fell asleep. I woke up an hour later--cold, vulnerable, scared--to find a homeless man sleeping right next to me. I looked over at Evan who was awake, and we both burst out laughing.

4 am, rock bottom moment of trip

A few hours later Evan went to the bathroom and when he got back said he stood next to a different homeless man and stared at a pile of cardboard boxes drooling over how warm they looked. Eventually we went into the cafeteria after it opened for breakfast and fell asleep crouched over a table. When I woke up I found myself surrounded by a throng of bus-riders chatting away at the tables. I felt gross and groggy, but eventually 11:00 came around and we got on our bus. I made sure I was the first to step on the bus and I had never been more grateful to enter one. 10 hours after we were supposed to leave Granada we finally left.

We made our way to Madrid, our final stop in Spain, where we now had 18 hours to spend before our next flight.

Spain Part II: Seville

We decided to take it easy in Seville since we were hurting after Barcelona. When we got off the plane a very nice group of abroad students helped us find where we were going. We took a train to the city center and almost immediately fell in love. On the train, people were offering older people their seats, and Evan found it moving, saying he wished that kindness for the rest of the world. That sentiment increased when we got off the train, greeted by a street band of Native American Indians performing ancient tribal music. How random that they were there, but we loved it.

We walked down the street, were stopped by a group of gypsies who tried selling us spice stems for 5 euros after reading our palms, at which time I said no thanks, and then found a place to eat lunch. A terrifying street performer was there, dressed like a baby in the stroller, squeaking at people on the street. It was like something out of Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey.

After lunch we found our hostel, and I napped on the wonderful rooftop terrace. We then walked around and found the river, which is like another piece of paradise. All along it people sit by and eat, drink and hang out. This goes on all day, especially during siesta time. It was so ideal. That night we decided to make dinner for ourselves, so we found the only store open with food. It was run by a few tired looking Asian people and most of the food was coated over with dust. We had no choice really so we bought what we could including some rotting vegetables and went back to the hostel. We made rice with vegetables. I met some very interesting people that night. My favorite was a British guy who was a writer. He told me his story while I sauteed the non-rotten parts of the vegetables. He was writing a book on his experiences learning how to dance in South America. Being an uptight Englishman in his youth, he wanted to test out what would happen if he spent a significant amount of time learning how the Latinos move, so he lived down in the southern hemisphere for 9 months. He learned many of the different forms of dances, and he coined this as his "research." He said that his least favorite dance style was the flamenco. The way he put it, "the bloke shimmies a bit, the lady twirls, and every time I'm just like, 'Oh fuck off.'" I liked this guy immediately.

The next day was awesome. Evan and I rented bikes from a local store and roamed around the Seville for four hours. We visited some of the major tourist sights, including the awesome Plaza de Espana, an archaeological museum, and then zipped around the narrow streets and alleys.

Plaza de Espana

Earlier that day I met an Australian guy in our hostel who was traveling Europe until his money ran out. His name is Billy, a former drug dealer who spent some time in prison and now wants a fresh start. Though I was a little on guard around this guy since everything about him was sketchy, I found him pretty interesting. As it turns out, Billy was the reason for why Seville became so important for my abroad experience. A few years ago he got a tattoo from his friends who used a Play Station motor with a needle, but his tatto was wearing down and he wanted to get it redone. He told me he was going to the tattoo parlor that day, and I asked him if they did ear piercing, which they did. I ended up going with him to the place and got my left ear pierced. I was a little nervous, but the whole thing is painless and te guy doing it was professional and showed me how his utensils were all cleaned beforehand. The room he did it in was lit up with fluorescent lighting, ad he had me sit on a bed one sees in a doctor's office during a checkup. I asked the guy a good amount of questions before he did it, until Billy, who was in the room watching, said that I was just being nervous, so I stopped talking and let the guy do his job. Now there's a little stud in my ear. I left Billy at the place and made my way back home.

That night was very cool. As we were walking to meet up with some of Devon's friends, we were stopped by a very large religious procession walking through the streets. The procession was headed by a choir of children and adults, followed by nine clergymen carrying big candles on top of large poles, followed by a few more wafting incense, followed by about ten men carrying a solid gold platform supporting a very large statue of Jesus carrying the cross. The way they walked reminded me a lot of the workers in the opening scene of Metropolis on their way to work (Start the video at 1:30 on youtube, then rent the movie because it's awesome). The Jesus was surrounded by flowers. Behind the procession there were easily over 500 people following. The whole thing was beautiful. These people were going from church to church in honor of the day commemorating St. Lucia. It was a very legit cultural experience, and sadly I did not have a camera with me.

We did not want to leave Seville, especially Evan, who just wanted to know at all times where the Rio was. The next day we hopped a bus to Granada.

Spain Part I: Barcelona

So I took a long hiatus from writing anything on this blog, and I'm sorry about that. In retrospect it's my own loss. A lot of fantastic things happened since visiting the land of Cork. But then again, after Cork things can only really go upwards, unless of course there is no God. In this post I'll be reminiscing on my experiences in Spain. Since it's been a few weeks since that adventure, let's see how good my memory is. In any case, here we go.

I, along with four others (Evan Johnson, Devon Quinn, Kassey Matoin and Ryan Holm), visited four cities in Spain, all of them quite different from the other. Our plane arrived first in Barcelona. After an easy train ride we got to our hostel called the Kabul Backpackers Hostel in Reial Square. The hostel also serves as a nightclub for its guests. It is filled with young people like ourselves with a bar that is open late and free dinner which always includes some form of low grade meat I couldn't eat.

While at the airport, the TSA agent informed me that I had to throw out my contact solution, even though the liquid content was under 100 mL. I complied but then had a mission to go find some more solution in the Spanish speaking world. After putting our bags down in our 22 person hostel room, Evan came with me to undergo this task. We told the others that we'd be back in 10 minutes, we just had to go to the pharmacy. Walking out of the hostel, four French people roughly our age were standing in front of us with big smiles, asking about the hostel. After talking for about ten minutes and learning sexy french words such as "je t'aime," we went with the french people to a nearby chupitos bar (chupito means shots, like vodka) that sold drinks for 1 euro a piece. After cheersing many times to our first night in Spain, Evan and I arrived back at the hostel a half hour later drunk and without any contact solution. But spirits were high. We met up with Ryan and Kassey on de Rambla, the street bordering Reial square, where they were sitting down to a fancy Chinese dinner. We thought it was slightly humorous that we were at a Chinese restaurant our first night in Spain, then ordered cheese pizzas at the Chinese restaurant and thought that was funny as well. Then we got the bill for the meal, which wasn't funny at all.

Later that night everyone decided to buy into one of the club promoters on the street and take up a 10 euro for 3 clubs deal. I showed up a little late and refused to go along with the sponsor, so I ended up walking around the town for a little bit alone (my mistake, I admit). I walked out of Reial Square and onto de Rambla. Almost immediately I was solicited to buy marijuana from a more than a few men on the street, and immediately following that was solicited by aggressive, vulgar-talking hookers . This walk ended when a random woman linked her arm in mine and tried to talk me into a deal, then had five of her associates trail us from behind, had me refuse her over and over again, then slapping me on the behind and consequently the crew behind us burst out laughing. These encounters made me somewhat depressed and I thought it best to call it a night. I came back to the hostel and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth, and was told mid-scrub by a smiling girl that I was in the ladies bathroom. Strike out. Barcelona 1, Brett 0. By that time it was 2 am anyway, though the people in Barcelona don't go to sleep until around 7.

We woke up the next day and took the subway to our first tourist spot, La Sagrada Familia. Before coming to Spain I had never heard of the architect Antoni Gaudi, but now I am sufficiently enamored by the visionary talent of this man. This cathedral was among the most unusual and impressive buildings I've ever seen. It is still in the building process after over 100 years of construction. Taking mathematical patterns Gaudi observed in nature, he designed his church in such a way that feels very modern to today's standards while also preserving the traditional constructions of a cathedral. Instead of gargoyles on the exterior, Gaudi placed crocodiles, turtles, beavers and other mildly intimidating animals to ward off evil spirits. If you, dear Reader, ever come to Barcelona, La Sagrada Familia is a must see.

The day's adventures continued. After the cathedral we got back on the subway and headed to Parc Guell, a big park designed by Gaudi in commemoration of his friend...Guell. On the way there, Devon had to ask someone for directions. We found an old, sweet looking man standing at the top of the subway steps. Devon approached him and asked for help in Spanish. The man grabbed her arm and pulled her toward him while also pointing out where we should head. We said gracias and walked in that direction. A few minutes later Devon realized that her wallet wasn't in her purse. Keeping calm, we walked back to the subway entrance and the old man was gone. So Devon had to spend a good part of the afternoon canceling all her credit cards. She was upset but Evan made it slightly better by suggestively waving his sandwich in front of his pants and everyone laughed. Nice job. But to this day she still hates that man. Barcelona 2, Group 0.

After arriving at the park we went to the topmost point, upon which sits a big stone cross. At this height we could see the entirety of the massive city of Barcelona. It was a breathtaking view that rivaled the view of Arthur's Seat in Scotland. As an added bonus a man dressed in leopard print was up there screaming at people on his electric guitar.

After that we explored the rest of the park, which has mosaics and landscapes designed by Gaudi. It was very clear that this man was way ahead of his time. That night we went on a bar crawl with a hostel and then to a club. On the way back Evan and I went for a walk along the pier and finally went to sleep at 7am.

We woke up less than 3 hours later and went to the Barcelona market where they sold everything from meat to spices to knicknacks and paddywacks. It looked just like the Grand Bazaar in Istanbul. The meat section was a little shocking, more so when one of the crabs on the display was still crawling along the ice. We decided to go check out the Picasso museum after that, and spent the next two hours trying to find the place. The museum is definitely worth seeing. They have paintings from his early years when he painted conventional portraits and proves that he really does know how to paint beautiful, standard portraits, and then show how the portraits slowly transform into the paintings we recognize as Picasso's in popular culture. My favorite was his version of Velazquez's Las Meninas, which is the museum's proudest possession. But at this point in the day we were deliriously tired so we found a quaint plot of grass we deemed a park in the middle of a bustling intersection and took a power nap. I couldn't really sleep so I just sat there with an iPod, but it was very relaxing.

We then made our way toward the beach. On the way there we stopped and watched two street performers do an interpretive dance routine using a PVC-pipe shaped into a hoop. It was actually quite interesting to watch. Then we made our way to the beach. The beach is awesome, and very chill. After getting there we bought a six pack and ruffles and sat out on the sand. When we first arrived, we couldn't help but laugh at the single nude man walking slowly along the beach, looking around among all the clothed people until he disappeared in the distance. Either he was a man at peace, or there just isn't an explanation. We spent about an hour at the beach, just chilling, trying to ignore the couples to the left and right of us making out.

That night I tried taking a nap, but in a 22 person room at 10 pm that's almost impossible. Evan got me after an hour and a half by shining a light on my face, then on his with a goofy grin, and presenting a bottle of wine with a cup over it. I got out of bed and to my right was a Muslim man I had met previously from Iran praying over his rug. It was quite moving to watch, though I didn't lurk too long. This was our last night in Barcelona, and we ended up spending the entire night in the hostel and in Reial Square with the other guests, though I had bought my ticket to the well-known club El Capital. It was a lot of fun. We met these European guys in their room who told us it was their job to go around Europe taking pictures with people like us. Of course we took many pictures with them and laughed a lot about it. Earlier that day we purchased a bottle of Absinthe, which is without a doubt the most painful thing I've ever inflicted upon my throat. We took many swigs of it anyway, and were back in bed by 2 that morning, having missed our chance to go out somewhere for our last night in the city.

Devon woke me up two hours later and we made our way to the airport to catch our flight to Seville.

At this point I am cutting the post off here. Stay tuned for Part II, which will be posted shortly. Thanks for reading.